11. Building Strong Relationships: Tools to Create a Lasting Connection
Strong and healthy relationships often take lots of work, from both sides. They are built over time and supported by intentional choices, proper communication, and a willingness to grow together. Meaningful relationships provide support and a sense of belonging. But even the strongest relationships can be impacted by daily stress, transitions, and expectations.
The good news is that relationships are not meant to be perfect but are meant to be built to grow stronger. Here are some small habits to create a stronger relationship and lasting connection:
1. Prioritize Open Communication
Healthy relationships are grounded in proper communication that has clarity, transparency, and respect. This means expressing needs and emotions directly andinvolves active listening to understand, not just with the purpose of responding. This can include using “I” statements (i.e., “I feel overwhelmed”) rather than directing blame.
2. Practice Emotional Awareness of Others
Emotional awareness can be practiced to recognize another's emotional experience. This supports them in feeling seen and allows you to be a supportive source by simply being present. This can include statements such as “I can see why you’re feeling that way” that can deepen your connection with each other.
3. Respect Each Other's Boundaries
Strong relationships respect individuality. Healthy boundaries are important for the development of a safe space that is respectful and sustainable for each individual. This strengthens trust in a relationship while honoring personal limits and boundaries.
4. Embrace Resilience and Repair
Conflict is inevitable, but what matters most is how it is handled. Repairing after conflict involves taking responsibility, apologizing, and reconnecting. This can involve validating one another’s feelings and experience as well as reaffirming care for each other. If handled appropriately, and with respect, repair after conflict can build resilience within relationships. For additional resources to repair after conflict, we recommend the novel Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection by Julie Gottman.
5. Nurture the Relationship
Relationships require ongoing and intentional care, whether it be small gestures or consistent quality time. This communicates care to the other person and provides reassurance even in busy or stressful times.
Despite best efforts and intentional work, many couples find themselves stuck in repeated patterns of miscommunication and unresolved conflict. Couples therapy provides a supportive space to explore these challenges with trained guidance and to learn tools such as open communication, conflict resolution, and emotional understanding.
At its core, building strong and healthy relationships is about intention, empathy, and both individual and relational growth. With the right support, healthier and more fulfilling connections are possible.